With Valentine’s Day having just passed, we thought we’d talk about marriage and engagement customs in the world of Siraden for this week’s blog post. Specifically, we’ll discuss the customs of Arvelakans, Siradians, and spirits.

On Siraden, a person is “of marrying age” at 16 if they’re human, mage, or rarlatan. For spirits, the appropriate age for marriage was once considered 100 or older (and among some spirit communities it still is), but for many communities they have lowered their “coming of age” to that of their fellow Siradians (i.e., 16). Siradian wedding and engagement traditions include the giving and receiving of dowries. So, this means that for Siradians (of all genders and sexes) the decision to get married is not always based solely on romantic feelings for another person; oftentimes economic factors play a role as well. Siradians make proposals by offering a ring to the person they are proposing to. Engagement rings often have a precious stones set in them, sapphires are most popular. Assuming that the proposal is accepted, the couple then plans a wedding date. Siradian wedding ceremonies are officiated by the local authority figure (e.g., the town mayor) or a local spirit, and are typically held outdoors. The ceremony itself consists of a bridal procession, followed by an exchanging of rings and vows. Unlike the rings used for proposing Siridian wedding rings are usually plain bands made from a precious metal, like gold or silver. Following the ceremony a party is held with dancing and food.

Arvelak considers an individual “of age” at 18, when that person has finished their mandatory schooling. Dowries are not a part of Arvelakan marriage culture, so marriages are generally based on a couple’s romantic feelings for one another. Arvelakans propose by offering a gift to the person they are proposing to. Traditionally the gift is a piece of jewelry (no specific kind). Arvelakan wedding ceremonies are presided over by a government official and typically take place in the local government building. The ceremony is usually small with only immediate family and close friends present. The individuals being married exchange vows in front of the official who then formally recognizes the marriage. The newly married couple then signs off on some paperwork. After the official ceremony the couple hosts a party for their extended family, immediate family, and friends. Because the date of the ceremony is usually determined by the official overseeing it, the wedding party is not always the same day as the ceremony itself. However, it is usually held within a week of the ceremony.

Spirits live on both Arvelak and Siraden; however, their wedding and engagement traditions differ from both cultures. Spirits propose to one another by simply proposing, with or without a gift. Whether or not a spirit wears a wedding ring depends on where they are from. Siradian spirts often wear rings, but those from Arvelak don’t. Spirits do not typically have dowries, so they often marry for love. Spirit wedding ceremonies are simple. Any adult spirit can preside over any wedding, but generally spirit couples have the eldest spirit in their local area conduct the ceremony. In the ceremony the spirits clasp arms and a cord is tied around their wrists by the presiding spirit. Then the spirits getting married exchange their vows. Following this the presiding spirit gives the couple their blessing; and, if the spirit couple plans to wear rings, then they put them on now. After the ceremony Siradian spirit couples often enjoy a party thrown by their community in celebration of their new marriage. On Arvelak, spirit couples usually have small parties with close friends and family.

— Duncan